ii peek-a-BOO! :D
ii am back on this space, you people must have missed me so goddamn much!
ii just know!

ii am feeling so much better, because so many things happened!
inititally mad angry over the many silly stupid child-like acts of sore losers, & making many people around me went "WTF".

now, ii dont give a damn. cannot be bothered. ii promised!
people close at heart knows everything! HAH!
ii am so sorry, frugal living isnt in my blood, and money is not my life! (opps!)
no pun intended, neither am ii being spiteful. but rather, fact. (:

ay, ii am better better, good rather! (:
ii lovee the way my life is now!
good food. watching whatever movies ii want. random walks on the beach & by the jetty. suppers. awesome people. (& not having to use my concessions)!

peektures all in my comp already! :D
ii have got a lot of peektures of me & (of food)! ii will selectively post it up all sooner than soon! :D

next, it's supper with the girls! BE BACK AGAIN! :D

I am dying sooooonn!!
ii fucking dont like that stream of gushing emotions ii swear.

ii am blaming it on that weird nightmare last night, which ii effing dont even remember. it has got to be something sad, (& by sad, ii equate it to a nightmare). ii woke up with tears rolling down my cheeks, & the entire day screwed and disturbed & depressing. FML.

all these emotions are like controlling my mind & heart and whatsoever now.
ii am so gonna dieeeee!!

save me!
buy me a tub/pint of chocolate flavoured ice-cream & many happy pills!

*you were clearly stronger than ii am. ii should have known it sooner. only to find out ii am the weaker one now, & to think ii shielded myself well enough. -.-"

ii like getting wasted and not remembering a single shit that has happened. that was last night. Viebar with darling girl and guys, & getting super wasted, & only having recall vague images of what happened last night.

I was nursed.
tucked into bed. a glass of tea. panadol. water.
I woke up reeking of alcohol.
got home this morning, showered & hangover was mad bad.

Thank you for the companion last night; getting me drunk, and looking after me after that, and cleaning up the mess ii created, and sending us all home & looking after me all thru the night.

Thank you girl & boys.

*that temptation. ii hope you are doing well. you said you were strong.

people say.
it's better to love & lost, than to never love at all.

people say.
now that ii have experienced the pain
of someone having let me go, & me letting someone go,
ii have grown a little more.

ii will be fine. that's probably the only thing ii can constantly tell myself now.

arent feeling good now.

ii swear ii dont like that fucking aching feeling inside me now.
neither do ii like tears swelling & rolling down.
today, ii wish ii werent born.

it wasnt a right choice. but ii figured out, you will be better off w/o me.

sad. depressed. upset. heartbreaking. lost.
ii am in a dilemma. which ii dont like.

that basically sum up all ii have to say.

ii am in a mean mood. ii need to sleep. ii am so having not enough of damn sleep this week & all. makes me whiny, & grumpy & exhausted. ): ):

ii slept for like, hmm, 5hours last night. for mfb report.
& hoping that ii will be able to like get plentiful of rest tonight!
which obviously wont come true, because god like to screw my life up.
suck.

ice-cream supper, which is damn sinful + fattening, with chunhow later.
ii havent seen my 10year friend for the longest time ever, when we used to talk on the phone almost everyday. we've been busy, or rather just me. studies & work & projs have taken my life away. ): ):

And before ii can even get sufficient sleep,
ii got to wake up for competition's briefing tomorrow, & instruction manual is like SEVENTY-FIVE freaking pages long; which ii doubt ii will even read. briefing is 6hours. -_-" from 9am to 3pm, at an effing faraway place @SIM. seriously, fuck my life.

And the only good thing to look forward to is meeting darling girl after that! :D :D
collecting pay & watching Eclipse & shopping spells fun & more fun! <3
ii am mad excited over watching Eclipse! :D

And den, the usuals are coming to my place to mahjong & watch the match between Germany & Uruguay. And ii am so gonna want Germany to win, please! $_$

then,
with zero sleep, ii am heading out at 7plus (in the fucking morning) to town for competition meeting. this suck, ii swear ii will be tired & grumpy & all.

ii am hoping to return home a little while to sleep. sleep. yes, sleep!!!
before heading out at 3 like that, to meet the fyp mates for CATScarnival & "fieldtrip" research. And whatever crap.

5pm: dinner over at my (weird) tutor's place, for a competition meeting with other competing groups. ii am not looking forward to this, ii prefer (very very very very much) to sleep.

the moment ii am home, ii am so gonna sleep, forever!
(and wake up to watch the FINALS!)

while ii like to be kept busy, this is way too much! BOO!
it started out from nothing, to fun, to school, to everything now.
life's such a bitch!

hello space. :D
havent been in here for awhile, been mad busy w/ school (& life)!

& at this very moment, ii am watching semi-finals on channel5, & working on my maths report on my pink table, which ii got it from ikea today! mad loves it! :D :D

I dont exactly like what ii have been feeling now. lately. or whatsoever.
a mixture of that every little thing, including that little happiness. & other mix of emotions blending into it.

when my expectations drop to zero, ii expect nothing out of something.
ii have little disappointments. ii wont get mad. (probably happier.) :D

ps: germany & spain's match got to DRAW, (at least for the first half)!